A Whirlwind of Changes

So it has been eons since I last wrote a blog entry. In fact, for a while at least I forgot that I even had this little online "journal." So much has happened since I last wrote and I thought I would try to get the Reader's Digest version out into words. So without further ado, the last few months in a small nutshell...

I took a position with the San Jose Giants and our season began with much fanfare. We had boat loads of prospects and talent and ended up winning the first half championship. Long story short, I have gained a lot of invaluable experience in media relations and have made a lot of new contacts and friends in the process.

As far as my career aspirations go, I no longer want to be a broadcaster. I have the privilege of broadcasting a handful of games this season and have enjoyed them very much, but realize I would not be able to do that game in and game out for a long season. This year of work has also helped me realize that I may not exactly know where I want to head after this internship is over. I am still looking for a full-time position and some sort of beginning to my career. Will I stay in sports or try to make the jump into the normal work world? Only time will tell I guess.

As far as the near future goes, I will most likely be starting a media relations internship with the San Jose Sharks in September. My ideal position would be media relations with the Sharks so this definitely will be a great experience to see whether or not I want to indeed pursue something in the NHL. I am extremely blessed and excited to begin this new chapter in my life.

Enough of the career now, my personal life has undergone some radical changes as well. I have began working out on a regular basis again and it feels very good to be getting back in shape. The original plan was for me to begin playing ice hockey again but we will see how that shapes up or if it does at all. For the time being, I just want to focus on getting myself into the shape I want to be so I can be proud of my body and continue to be active.

I will save you the sob story but this has been a particularly difficult summer. To start things off, my dad was laid off from his job and we have been struggling financially ever since. The only way to go seems to be up for the economy so I am hoping we can get back into the positive times financially.

My uncle has been struggling with health issues lately. He is currently battling hard and doing a very brave job but it is something that never gets easy. I really wish I could have more time to go and visit with my extended family. Makes you sit back and take inventory of things.

In late June/early July my girlfriend and I split ways. Anyone that knows me will attest that I was utterly shocked. It caught me 100 percent out of the blue. I had the calendar she gave me as a gift up on my wall with a countdown for her to get back from a trip. Little did I know things would not be the same when she returned. I had met and talked to a lot of girls over the years but no one swept me off my feet like she did. I was completely smitten and in love and had the most amazing year and a half of my life. I felt like I was living a dream. I could have a terrible week at work or have something bad happen and still have a smile on my face thinking about her. Well, as tends to happen, good things come to an end. Still don't quite think it has hit me. Don't get me wrong, I slipped into a deep, deep depression right afterwords. In fact, I don't quite think I am out of it to tell you the truth. I go out, work, have fun and what not but at the end of the day, just doesn't replace what I felt when we were together.

For the first time in my life, I can tell you that this year was worse than the last. Never before has my life taken a step backwards. I should be happy right? Career is getting so many good breaks. My hard work is paying off and yet I feel empty still?

I'm not one to mope around. I know the only way to go from here is up. I am optimistic that I can shake off this feeling and break through to the next level. I have realized a lot of things that I needed to realize. I am improving myself now in many ways and feel like I see life in a new light. I was close minded on a number of things before. I have so many things I am improving now and am excited to see where my life takes me now.

The feelings of emptiness are still extremely prevalent. I sometimes wonder why I wake up everyday but then I remember that I have worked so hard and owe it to myself to quit being so negative and to dust myself off and live life to the fullest.

Sorry for the negative writings. I promise the next entry will not take months to be recorded and will be a lot more positive and uplifting! We will see where this pivotal month takes me and I am excited to continue my journey. The only way to go from here is up!

-BRG